Last night I went to a local doom metal show. The show was supposed to start at 9, but I had a late dinner and showed up around 9:30. When I walked in, a band was doing their sound check, so I sat down at the bar and ordered a beer from the tiny blonde bartender who looked like she could be Dee from It’s Alway’s Sunny’s twin sister.
It occurred to me that I had no idea which band was playing first or, for that matter, if I had missed the first band altogether when I was at dinner. I called the bartender over and our conversation went something like this:
Me: Hi, I was wondering—has the first band already played?
Dee’s Twin: What?
Me: Um, the show, has it already started?
Dee’s Twin: (points to the stage and musters her most condescending voice) Oh, honey, they’re just doing a sound check right now.
At this point, she walked off, leaving me tremendously confused and lacking an answer to my original question. Then it hit me: THE BITCH THOUGHT I DIDN’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOUND CHECK AND AN ACTUAL LIVE SET.
It seemed rude to throw my tall boy at her, so I did the only thing that made sense: I sat at the bar, laughing uproariously, sealing her preconceived notions about me.
Oh, and the show ruled.
