Glad that Safeway knows to put the important things, beer, butter and cheese, in the same aisle. Rarely have to venture out.

1:36 pm  •  12 November 2012  •  5 notes

Portland’s definitely spoiling me in the beer department. #portland #beer #roguebrewery #deadguyale (Taken with Instagram)

8:59 pm  •  10 September 2012  •  1 note

Jesus christ. Moving from a three-bedroom house to a one-bedroom house while also working and trying to meet deadlines is the most stressful thing I have attempted to do in years.

FRIENDS: I promise to be human again after this week is over.

12:59 pm  •  1 March 2012  •  1 note

7:50 pm  •  27 February 2012  •  12 notes

Last night I went to a local doom metal show. The show was supposed to start at 9, but I had a late dinner and showed up around 9:30. When I walked in, a band was doing their sound check, so I sat down at the bar and ordered a beer from the tiny blonde bartender who looked like she could be Dee from It’s Alway’s Sunny’s twin sister.

It occurred to me that I had no idea which band was playing first or, for that matter, if I had missed the first band altogether when I was at dinner. I called the bartender over and our conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi, I was wondering—has the first band already played?

Dee’s Twin: What?

Me: Um, the show, has it already started?

Dee’s Twin: (points to the stage and musters her most condescending voice) Oh, honey, they’re just doing a sound check right now.

At this point, she walked off, leaving me tremendously confused and lacking an answer to my original question. Then it hit me: THE BITCH THOUGHT I DIDN’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOUND CHECK AND AN ACTUAL LIVE SET.

It seemed rude to throw my tall boy at her, so I did the only thing that made sense: I sat at the bar, laughing uproariously, sealing her preconceived notions about me.

Oh, and the show ruled.

5:57 pm  •  4 February 2012  •  3 notes